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Angielskie dowcipy / Rude

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How did Stevie Wonder Pierce his ears?

How did Stevie Wonder Pierce his ears? He Answered the stapler (hello? *OUCH*)... [cały ->]

How do you make a dead baby float?

How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of ice cream and one scoop of dead baby.... [cały ->]

No legs cold

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in your refridgerator? CHUCK.... [cały ->]

No Legs, Ditch

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a ditch? Phil.... [cały ->]

One-legged girl...

What do you call a girl with only one arm and one leg? Eileen! ... [cały ->]

Princess Diana alive?!

Q: What would Princess Di be doing if she were still alive? A: Scratching like hell to get out of her coffin!... [cały ->]

Rotten Little Johnny

Kids: "Hello Miss Saunders, can Johnny come out to play?" Mother: "I am sorry kids but you know Johnny has leprosy," Kids: "Well, then can we come in and watch him rot?"... [cały ->]

Shooting Blanks

I like to hang out around the playground, just watching the kids running and screaming. They don't know I'm just using blanks.... [cały ->]

The Kennedys

Did you hear there is a new movie out about the Kennedys? It's called Three Funerals and a Wedding.... [cały ->]

Thermometers

What is the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste!... [cały ->]

Whats the difference...

Whats the difference between a pig and a fox?. A 12-pack of beer!... [cały ->]

Wood

Q: What kind of wood does not float? A: Natalie Wood!... [cały ->]

John receives a phone call. "Hello," he answers. The voice on the other end says, "This is Susan. We met at a party about 3 months ago." John: "hmmm... Susan? You say we met 3 months ago?" Susan: "Yes, it was at Bill's house. After the p... [cały ->]

Bad News, Good News, Great News...

The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door. "We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Jones, but we have some information about your wife." "Well, tell me!" the man s... [cały ->]

Blind Herbie

Little Herbie had been blind since birth. One day at bedtime, his mother told him that the next day was a very special one. If he prayed extra hard, he'd be able to see when he woke up in the morning. The next morning she came into Herbie's room t... [cały ->]

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