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Angielskie dowcipy / Animals

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Lisping Midget

A midget with a heavy lisp goes to a horse farm to purchase a horse. The owner of the farm takes him through to look at all of his horses. The owner is really getting pissed off. Finally, the last horse and the midget decided that he really wanted... [cały ->]

I Like Monkeys

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them. I like monkeys. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a... [cały ->]

Hungry Rooster

A Rolls Royce pulls up in front of a really expensive restaurant and a really rich sheik gets out from it followed by a harem of women, and a rooster. The "party" is escorted to a table and given a menu. When time to order the sheik orders for him... [cały ->]

Huey, Dewy, and Puddles

A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain, when she comes across 3 dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she approaches them, bends down and starts to stroke one of them: "Ah, you're lovely, aren't you?" she says to the first dog. ... [cały ->]

Horny Rooster

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens. When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I ... [cały ->]

Horny Mouse

One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse. Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse's confidence with some cheese and then took him next door. The mouse repeated h... [cały ->]

Frog on the head

A man walks into a doctors office one day with a frog on his head. He sits down and the doctor says, "What's the problem?" The frog says, "Doctor, is there any way you can get this wart off my ass?"... [cały ->]

Elephant With Thorn

An elephant is walking through the jungle when she gets a thorn in her foot. She is in absolute agony until an ant strolls by. So the elephant says, "Help me, help me." But the ant refuses unless the elephants agrees to let the ant have his wicked wa... [cały ->]

Elephant Fall Into a Deep Pit

This joke involves an elephant who is walking through the jungle. And all of a sudden he falls into a pit and is stuck there. The elephant is stuck in this pit and realizes that he is going to die, so naturally he start to scream. By chance a chic... [cały ->]

Elephant Experiment

Three scientists were one day discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant's backside and force fed it for 2 weeks. But because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was hard to comprehend they decided to have a g... [cały ->]

Duck shopper

A duck walks in to a drug store and asks for a condom. The sales person comes back with the condom and says "Put this on your bill sir" to which the duck replies "what do you think I'M a dickhead!"... [cały ->]

Donald Duck

Donald Duck walked into a drugstore & asked for a packet of condoms. "Certainly, sir" said the lady behind the counter, "shall I put them on your bill?" "NO WAY!" replied Donald Duck, "What do you think I am, a Dickhead?!" ... [cały ->]

Dog story

A veterinarian got a phone call at midnight one night. The woman on the other end of the phone said, "My wee puppy is together with the dog from next door and I can't get them apart." The vet asked her if she tried throwing a bucket of water on... [cały ->]

Circus Elephant

There was this guy who bought an elderly circus elephant. Alas, he couldn't afford to feed it. He'd never seen an elephant jump with all 4 feet off the ground. So he started a contest: entry was $10, and the first person to get the elephant to jump w... [cały ->]

Chicken and the Egg

There was a chicken and a egg laying in bed together. The chicken has a satisfied look on her face... The egg looks a her and he say's "Well I guess we settled that question now didn't we."... [cały ->]

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