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Angielskie dowcipy / Miscellaneouss

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Adages and Questions

What do you call an unemployed jester? ... Nobody's fool. Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at. Why politicians don't enjoy the game of golf -- Because for them, it's too much like their work -- you know, being trapped in one bad ... [cały ->]

Airplane in Trouble

First man: Hey did you know that my airplane got caught in a heavy storm. The engine was leaking and it was raining. Second Man: Then it is a miracle that you landed safely on the ground and nothing happened to you. First Man: Who said the airp... [cały ->]

An angel wrote...

An angel wrote: Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. To handle yourself, use your head; To handle others, use your heart. Anger is only one letter short of danger. If ... [cały ->]

Anagrammar!

George Bush: When you rearrange the letters: He Bugs Gore Dormitory: When you rearrange the letters: Dirty Room Evangelist: When you rearrange the letters: Evil's Agent Desperation: When you rearrange the letters: A Rope Ends It The Morse... [cały ->]

Bumper Stickers

** EARTH FIRST! We'll strip mine the other planets later. ** If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you. ** No, I don't have a license to kill; it's just a learners permit. ** Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect. ** Sure you ... [cały ->]

Business Mergers

Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild Polygram records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: new company will be called Poly Warner C... [cały ->]

C & W Song Titles!

The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (Yes, Guys, these are REAL.) 1) Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life 2) Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed 3) Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing Y... [cały ->]

Child of the 80's (super long)

You might be a child of the 80's if... ... you have deep, personal relationships via computer with people you've never met in real life. ... the phrase "going courting", to you, means fighting an unjust traffic ticket or playing tennis. ... ... [cały ->]

Classified Ad Bloopers

As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find in the cartoons and comic strips: Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. ... [cały ->]

Classified Funny Ads

â??Include your children when baking cookies! â??Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted â??Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says â??British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands â??Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward... [cały ->]

For Chocolate Lovers

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate hom... [cały ->]

Forget the meaning of life...

Forget the meaning of life...we're stuck on these questions!: Do pediatricians play minature golf on Wednesdays? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? If all th... [cały ->]

Fun At the Drive-Thru Window!

Attempt to take the order-takers order. ("Hi, may I take your order?") before they get a chance to take yours. Order confusing items, i.e., "Hi, I'll have a large orange Coke and asmall medium fries, please". When you arrive at the window to ... [cały ->]

Goes Without Saying

Goes Without Saying: One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. To be intoxicated is to feel 'sophisticated' but not be able to say it. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers. The older you... [cały ->]

How Come?

What's with the people who put carpeting on the lid of their toilet seat? What are they thinking -- "Gosh, if we have a party there may not be enough standing room; I'd better carpet the toilet too." What's with this weird hotel custom of leaving ... [cały ->]

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