Angielskie dowcipy / Media

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Charlie Brown in the 90's

Do you remember the Charlie Brown specials that taught valuable life lessons to a generation of kids? Well here are some new episodes: Peanuts specials for kids of the 90's: We learn about VD in: "IT BURNS WHEN I PEE, CHARLIE BROWN" Charlie... [ca³y ->]

Real Subtitles from Hong Kong Movies

Real Subtitles from Hong Kong Movies ------------------------------------- 1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way. 2. You with your thick face have hurt my instep. 3. Gun wounds again? 4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin. ... [ca³y ->]

Rodney Dangerfield Top One-Liners!

A girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home. During sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. I could tell that my parents hat... [ca³y ->]

Rodney Dangerfield's Best One-Liners!

I was so poor growing up...If I wasn't born a boy..I'd have nothing to play with. A girl phoned me the other day and said ...."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life... [ca³y ->]

Star Wars Remastered

The Top 15 Surprises in the Re-Mastered "Star Wars" 15 New scene in which Chewbacca teaches Han Solo how to lick himself. 14 He might not sound as fearsome as before, but that Primatene Mist of Darth Vader's seems to have helped his breathing i... [ca³y ->]

Star Wars- Sexually Explicit Lines

10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!" 9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?" 8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed." 7. "You've got something jammed in here real ... [ca³y ->]

Top Ten Most Violent Upcoming Movies

10. "Erin Brockovich Gets Her Face Chewed Off by Rats" 9. "Mary Poppins A Cap In Your Ass" 8. "Bitch-Slapping Miss Daisy" 7. "How Stella Got Her Groove Back 2: Whoopi Goldberg's Bikini Wax" Oh, for God's sake. I'm sorry we had to prin... [ca³y ->]

Top10 New Summer Camps!

Top 10 Summer Camps you should not send your kids to: 10. Tommy Lee's---------- Camp Kickachickee 9. Lorena Bobbit's------ Camp Cutaweewee 8. Tanya Harding's------ Camp Wackaneenee 7. Kenneth Star's------- Camp Catchacrookee 6. Louis Farakahn'... [ca³y ->]

Dairy queen--whopper

How did the dairy queen get pregnant? The burger king showed her his whopper!!!... [ca³y ->]

Green

Q: If you've got a green ball in your left hand, and a green ball in your right hand, what do you have? A: Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.... [ca³y ->]

Kermit the Frog

Q: What's long, green, thin, and smells like pork? A: Kermits finger!... [ca³y ->]

Cinderella and Alan

Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship. One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere... [ca³y ->]

Disgruntled Genie

A man walking down the beach, sees a old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he picks it up, and a pissed off genie emerges. She says "normally I grant 3 wishes, but in your case, you son of a bitc... [ca³y ->]

Energizer Bunny

(AP) The Energizer Bunny, known best for "going and going and going..." passed away last evening at 12:42am. Upon completion of the autopsy early this morning, the chief medical examiner ruled that the death was caused by acute cardiac arrest, ind... [ca³y ->]

Ghosts and the Ricki Lake Show

One day at the Ricki Lake Show, the topic was ghosts. Before the show, she asks the audience "Who here has ever sensed the presence of a ghost?" and 5 people raise their hand. Then she asks "Who here has ever SEEN a ghost?" and 3 people raise the... [ca³y ->]

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